Hopefully just a phase

Lleyton and I on a night where he was calm and sweet. Look at those cute little chubber cheeks. Too bad those are starting to go away...


I love being a mom don't get me wrong but lately it has been more than a struggle. As noted earlier in previous posts, I am trying to wean Lleyton. It is not going to well to say the least. It has been over a week and he still cries constantly and is moody. I didn't realize what a full time job it is to keep the little man fed. Every meal I try several different things because he is very picky and you can't tell a one year old not to spit out his food or throw it at his mom or on the floor. These are daily occurances in our household. You would think I never clean my house because it looks like a war zone once he's past through.
Anyways today has been a rough one. He doesn't know how to put himself to sleep and he won't let me bounce or rock him to sleep. I've tried just letting him squirm until he's exhausted but that can go on until one in the morning. He is extremely stubborn. He loves to throw things, bite, and scream. He is the master of tantrums. He is really cute though so you can't get mad at him (and the more upset you become the funnier he thinks it is). For example today he came in the bathroom while I was feeling up the tub and decided anything that was in site should be thrown in the tub. That included his new Sunday shoes. He also loves to hide things lately in my shirt. He also loves to turn the lights on, yes only on, he does not know how to turn them off. He gets angry until you turn them off and then he giggles in delight as he turns them on. Needless to say this can get old quite quickly. Today after turning the fan and lights on about ten times I decided that was good enough, Lleyton did not think so. Lleyton held onto the doorway with his little fingers hanging on for dear life. Obviously I was holding him because he can't reach the lights, this is another fun thing he is going through, he constantly wants to be held. I'm trying to be patient assuming these tantrums and clinginess are related to him not being able to nurse and also teething. I am not sure just how much longer my patience is going to last.
Tonight after much screaming I tried to feed Lleyton some dinner he spit out pretty much all of his food. Then I am not sure if a piece of food got stuck in his throat or if he is sick but he coughed and then eventually threw up all over himself, me, and the floor. Also it is quite difficult to clean up throw up when you are all alone and your child is very sad and does not want to be set down. After this episode I put Lleyton in the tub and discovered my child is half snake. Lleyton lately makes this sssss ssss sound over and over again while he plays and bathes. He is quite the character.
Mostly all of the screaming, crying, food throwing, and clinginess just makes me feel bad. That is the hardest part of this all I really love that little boy and I just want him to be happy. I wish I could teach him to sleep and eat but sometimes you just half to wait for them to figure it out. I know he would be so much happier if he could just figure out those two things. Hopefully this is just a phase and he will catch on soon. I love that sweet boy and when he cries and throws tantrums I feel like a bad mom. I feel like I am doing something wrong that is making him act this way or could he really just be that stubborn? If it is the latter I am sure in for it.